if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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