I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
look no pants
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
