i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
