Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
