I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize