normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
COCAINE IS GR8
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize