I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
