Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
