Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
