too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize