Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
