I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my phone needs a breathalizer
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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