Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
