Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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