you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
