I wish I could punch you in the face.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Randomize
