This is not my ceiling
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
