My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
