I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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