his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
