i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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