Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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