Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
