I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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