how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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