he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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