Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
