on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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