Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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