yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
