How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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