can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
