She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
This is classic penis vs brain.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
