i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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