I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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