You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
