Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
