Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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