i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
