that's an acceptable place to lick
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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