are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
