The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
