Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I am naked and annoyed.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
