My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
