After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We just shotgunned beers for America
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
