Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize