She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
