I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
