He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
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