he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
