so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just had sex on a roof
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
