i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I have post one night stand depression
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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