This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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