he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
