He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
