the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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