Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
