is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I have tasted many bathrooms
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
