i jhust puked up my retainher.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
