Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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