I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
